i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize