How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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