I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
