Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
