But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
