No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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