believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize