my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
