I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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