So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It's Friday. Sex?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize