I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
