This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
