Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
