Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
soo... how was my night?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize