toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
