We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
