People in love make me want to vomit
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
All I want is dick and wine.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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