Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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