Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its not stalking. its research.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
