I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
