Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
