I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
