Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We got so high we made milksteak
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize