im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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