Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
