literally had 100 drinks last night.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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