1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
