Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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