we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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