Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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