I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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