Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize