I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When did angry sex become our thing?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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