If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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