probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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