i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my shit smells like andre
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My life is pants optional.
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