i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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