i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
