If that was your dad, he is hot
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize