I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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