I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
