You just made me feel so damn special
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
