I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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