You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize