he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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