so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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