you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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