Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
