Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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