he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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