It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
