operation harelip BJ is a go
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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