I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
