She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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