eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
