What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i drank out of a bidet.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
