I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
