careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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