it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
50% drunk capacity currently
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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