I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
