And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
