I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
