I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
