I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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