But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
