dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
