She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
