I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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