Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
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