You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
