Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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