Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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