Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
