no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
