i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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