she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
