Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
