Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize