drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
