I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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