some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize