Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize