I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
